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the rambling fanatic
VID: I Will Follow You Into The Dark [Forever Knight] 
24th-May-2008 11:23 pm
Nick & Nat







Title: I Will Follow You Into The Dark
Artist: Death Cab For Cutie
Fandom: Forever Knight
Vidder: abby82
Download: Sendspace (40MB, WMV) or YouTube, blip (streaming)
Notes: May 2008 marks the 12th anniversary of Forever Knight's final episode "Last Knight". Love it or hate it, accept it or disavow it, it's a controversial episode that will instantly get a Forever Knight fan talking. 12 years later the fans that were brought together by this series still discuss and new fans continue to trickle in. This is my way of remembering "Last Knight". May Forever Knight and its cast of characters continue to live on through its fans.

Lyrics:

Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black
And I held my tongue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back

If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
Cause we'll hold each other soon
The blackest of rooms

If heaven and hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark
***********

"Last Knight" is personally a difficult episode to watch. First and foremost there’s the cold reality of the characters' certain and uncertain fates. Then there’s this feeling that the characters’ actions to a certain degree feel almost out of character. However all that is somewhat tempered by knowing that Nick and Natalie’s actions, especially, are based on the characters' belief in faith and redemption—a constant theme throughout the series.

 

My perception of the episode has certainly changed from the years following its initial airing. For one thing, I was 14 years old in 1996 and I was still rather unsophisticated in my understanding of the politics of television. My little heart was still very tender. Not long before I saw "Last Knight" I had just been devastated by the finale of Quantum Leap. "Last Knight" was also the second episode of Forever Knight that I'd ever seen. I’d stumbled upon it in late night syndication and was intrigued enough by "Ashes to Ashes" (my first full episode) to tune in at the same time the following week. It's safe to say that I didn't know the characters and I probably couldn't even tell you the basic premise of the series that is so succinctly laid out for the viewer during the opening credits. So imagine my surprise as I tuned in (late by the way, during the "Last Act" flashback) to an episode in which the characters' world seemed to falling apart.  Throw in LaCroix's monologue, the dreamy camera shots and the pacing that director Geraint Wyn Davies used and it was one very disorienting episode for me. As the episode progressed the sense of foreboding only increased. In the end, rather than the tears I shed for the Quantum Leap finale, "Last Knight" left me impossibly numb and shocked, which I think was far worse. I may not have been very familiar with Nick, Natalie, Tracy, and LaCroix but I mourned for them and at the time I mourned for myself. I felt denied the opportunity to get to know these characters like I'd gotten to know Sam and Al in Quantum Leap. It felt so cruel.

 

However upon revisiting the series within the past year with an older perspective I'm able to appreciate what the episode was trying to do. I don't really see it as this defiant gesture from creator Jim Parriott towards a studio and/or network who tinkered with his show and then cancelled it or a slap in the face towards loyal fans. He's long gone on the record as stating that his contribution to the existing premise of a vampire cop was the addition of the need for redemption.

 

For the characters, the final actions that came to a head in Nick’s loft were due to a huge leap of faith. In their actions Nick and Natalie reaffirmed their belief in one of the show’s themes—immortality—in this case immortality in the afterlife.

 

There were lines in “I Will Follow You into the Dark” that to me were very reminiscent of the situation Nick and Natalie found themselves in.

 

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white/Just our hands clasped so tight/Waiting for the hint of a spark/If Heaven and Hell decide/That they both are satisfied/Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

 

To me it speaks of the uncertainty in which Nick and Natalie will find themselves if in fact LaCroix does follow through with Nick's request to stake him. It was their faith that there was an existence beyond for them together, a different type of immortality, that was so strong. Of course I would most certainly have preferred that their faith manifest itself in some way other than the way that it did. Existence in the mortal world is far more preferable than existence in the afterlife. Nick’s decision to end his life and by extension Natalie’s and seek immortality in death doesn’t sit right with me. For all his feelings of unworthiness and occasional self-destruction Nick has a great love of life. We are reminded of that by LaCroix in what are certainly my favorite passages from “Last Knight” and one of my favorites of the entire series.

 

“But are you so enamored that you would overlook your love of life? And you do love it. I’ve seen you smell the sea. Gaze at the stars at night.” Those lines describe Nick so perfectly and it’s fitting that it should come from LaCroix who is perhaps in a better position anyone to see. For Nick to seek death with Natalie rather than bring her across, something she professed wouldn’t scare her if he was with her, illustrates how grief stricken he must have been in those moments. It also speaks of the feeling of failure he must have been feeling, at his inability to protect Natalie from the very thing he fought for so long. Bringing her over in some way would have been an acknowledgment of that. When I view it in that context I’m able to make some sort of peace with those events.

 

A few additional notes on the vid. This is officially my first fanvid. I've mentioned a Schanke vid that I have in the works and which I began long before this one. However due to the amount of footage I'm using it requires much more careful attention then this vid. With this vid I wanted to remain solely within the episode of "Last Knight" and the 5 episodes it referenced in flashback so it was an easier project clip wise. Of the 5 flashbacked episodes (not including episodes from the rapid fire clips shown when Nick bites Natalie) I used clips from the season 3 opener "Black Buddha", season 3's "The Human Factor" and season 1's "For I Have Sinned". However I admit I did cheat a bit. I included a shot from season 2's "Near Death" and "Close Call". I also threw in a clip of Nick and Schanke from the season 2 opener "Killer Instinct".

 

To this day it bothers me that Schanke didn't warrant much of a mention in the "Last Knight". Yeah there was a lot going on but I don't think his friendship with Nick should have been ignored. He was more than just the partner he "lost" as Reese put it. Therefore I felt the line, "You and me have seen everything to see," would be a nice way to acknowledge the years he and Nick rode together as partners and friends. This is also the stretch of the song in which I refer to Janette and Nick's history together and the centuries they've traveled together. All of which was made possible by LaCroix, whose own journey began on one fateful evening in Pompeii.

 

And then there's Tracy. So much of "Last Knight" is embroiled in the circumstances surrounding the suicide of Natalie's friend and the need for Natalie to determine once and for all whether or not she and Nick can realistically be involved with each other. Something like that can't be discussed without bringing in the vampire element of the series. How do you make Tracy relevant in an episode like that? Without the presence of Vachon to link her directly to the vampire community she's left in an odd limbo. She's aware of the existence of vampires but it's a secret she has to keep to herself. Near the end of “Ashes to Ashes” Nick requested that LaCroix alter Tracy’s memories to remove the truth of Vachon’s death.  If LaCroix did in fact follow through then Tracy is undoubtedly feeling very, very alone and abandoned. In some ways she's worse off than Natalie, who at least has Nick. "Last Knight" has Tracy almost going through the motions with no real direction. Knowledge of the vampire community, which once was so interesting and eye opening, is now stifling. When the hostage situation breaks out in the precinct, she pursues the captor without notifying anyone to her whereabouts. Tracy's accidental shooting and the revelation of Nick's vampirism is what unites the two story lines. In some ways I feel that the death of Tracy is perhaps the episode’s most tragic loss. Season three had Nick backsliding and the overall tone of the season almost felt like it was driving towards the conclusion it did. Nick and Natalie’s final actions at least felt semi plausible albeit rather extreme. Yet with Tracy it felt senseless—a senseless accident.


 
Comments 
25th-May-2008 10:31 pm (UTC)
*love*
This vid was wonderful. I might have to dust off my DVDs for a rewatch now.

1st-Jun-2008 11:05 pm (UTC)
I'm so glad you liked it.

I might have to dust off my DVDs for a rewatch now.

Oh please do. It's especially fun to rewatch them after a break.
26th-May-2008 01:22 am (UTC)
Oh, FK. *sighs wistfully* The ending of that show still hurts.

BTW, mind if I friend you? FK fen need to stick together.
1st-Jun-2008 11:12 pm (UTC)
The ending of that show still hurts.

Watching it again and again and again for the vid was hard. At least I didn't bring the dialogue over. The LaCroix monologues get me every time.

BTW, mind if I friend you? FK fen need to stick together.

Friend away! I've noticed that the FK fans, whether past or present, on livejournal are pretty low-key and tend to travel in the same circles.
26th-May-2008 06:01 am (UTC)
Oh, wow. I'm not a vidder, and I got a high-speed connection only last year, so my main exposure to FK vids is still the VHS tape a friend kindly dubbed for me eleven years ago, packed with vintage vids that I still watch over and again. Yours is the first modern -- totally post-VHS -- FK vid I've ever seen. It makes a big impression.

There's really no way LK can go by without hurting -- no shape into which it can be folded, no order in which it can be sorted. It just hurts.

I was particularly glad to see Tracy's part in your vid. I was remembering recently a Perk friend who went to an LK-viewing party twelve years ago, and who experienced the other fans not respecting her loss of Tracy, wrapped up as they were in the losses of their own characters. People mourned Tracy, too.

Thank you very much for sharing.
2nd-Jun-2008 12:00 am (UTC)
my main exposure to FK vids is still the VHS tape a friend kindly dubbed for me eleven years ago, packed with vintage vids that I still watch over and again.

Wow that's old school! It occurred to me that there must have been people vidding to FK back when the show was on but I figured that either they were never posted online or as the years went by their sites disappeared off the net. It's so great to hear confirmation that early FK vidders did in fact exist. I've recently come across a page that houses the vids of Mary S. Van Duesen who vidded while FK was on the air. I've yet to watch any of the vids though.

Yours is the first modern -- totally post-VHS -- FK vid I've ever seen. It makes a big impression.

Well it certainly is an honor to have that distinction. :-) And you're also in for quite a treat for there are a few FK vids out there that are mind blowingly awesome.

giandujakiss' "Not An Addict" is at the top of the FK vid pantheon for me. I'd stumbled upon it quite by accident and I was blown away but its quality technically and storytelling wise. It's the vid that inspired me to try my hand at vidding. It made such an impression on me that I couldn't help but gush away.

astolat and hafital's "Hunter"video is another one I stumbled upon quite by accident as well shortly there after. It's nothing short of beautiful. It and "Not An Addict" have both been downloaded for my viewing pleasure whenever I get the urge to revisit them--which is quite often.

And lastly of course are the vids of kristin1228. She has singlehandedly carriedthe FK vidding world on her back in recent years. She's got a unique style that is all her own and has serviced just about every single FK character and pairing at one point or another.

I was particularly glad to see Tracy's part in your vid. I was remembering recently a Perk friend who went to an LK-viewing party twelve years ago, and who experienced the other fans not respecting her loss of Tracy, wrapped up as they were in the losses of their own characters. People mourned Tracy, too.

Absolutely. I was really looking forward to including Tracy in the vid because in some ways I feel her death was perhaps the most tragic event to come out of "Last Knight". And that's saying a lot considering how unsettling the entire episode was. It's also quite sad to think that with the exception of Captain Reese, all the characters that were introduced for season 3 were dead by season's end--Screed, Urs, Vachon, and Tracy. I'm very fond of Tracy and to be honest I don't think I've ever seen her or Vachon in any of the FK vids I've come across.
9th-Jun-2008 04:32 am (UTC) - vidding when dinosaurs roamed the earth
>"It occurred to me that there must have been people vidding to FK back when the show was on but I figured that either they were never posted online or as the years went by their sites disappeared off the net."

Never posted online. That's the answer! :-) When FK was on the air, we snail-mailed VHS tapes to each other. Digital recording just wasn't available. And even if someone had somehow had the ability and webspace to upload a vid to the Web, few if any of us would have had the ability to view it there! Personally, I was still using Lynx -- the primitive text-based browser -- in 1997, a year after cancellation. It really was a different world when FK was on the air.

An anecdote to illustrate? When it was desired that the JADFE (FK erotica) archive be put onto CD-ROM, only the soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend of a fan had a CD-burner -- and bad things ensued, because he wasn't a fan and didn't understand or care, and money and real names and bears, oh my! There's a whole other story there. But point being? One. Burner. In the fandom.

I suspect that there are three main reasons that few old vidders have posted their old FK vids:
  1. Brokenhearted by third season, they can't bear to look at them.
  2. Aghast at the quality of their old work, now far superseded, they are embarrassed to expose their pre-digital efforts to scrutiny.
  3. They just have no way to convert the old VHS tapes to digital.


Many excellent old vids nevertheless vary widely in quality from scene to scene, as different episodes were gained from different sources. And of course there are those network logos and crawls that we just had to live with.

>"I've recently come across a page that houses the vids of Mary S. Van Duesen"

If you feel like sharing that URL in the future, please keep me in mind!

If I am not mistaken, astolat was an FK fan who wandered off the list before I joined it. I am thrilled to learn she has FK vids up, and will go look at them soon! Thank you very much for those links, and all these links! It's very exciting.

Are you familiar with "Vividcon," the main annual fan-vidders convention? I'm not a vidder, but all the vidders I know love it to pieces.
22nd-Jun-2008 11:50 pm (UTC) - Re: vidding when dinosaurs roamed the earth
If you feel like sharing that URL in the future, please keep me in mind!

Sorry for the delay in getting back to you on this. I'd saved the link in my del.icio.us and then I couldn't remember what I tagged it as. Doh!

Vids by Mary S. Van Duesen

If I am not mistaken, astolat was an FK fan who wandered off the list before I joined it. I am thrilled to learn she has FK vids up, and will go look at them soon!

What excites me is that she and the others are vidders that are well regarded in the vidding community so not only do we get an FK vid or two but we get stellar FK vids to boot.

Never posted online. That's the answer! :-) When FK was on the air, we snail-mailed VHS tapes to each other. Digital recording just wasn't available. And even if someone had somehow had the ability and webspace to upload a vid to the Web, few if any of us would have had the ability to view it there!

Well that certainly makes sense. My own experience with the Internet at that time is just too fuzzy. I remember the availability of free sites that fic authors took advantage of but they certainly would be no where near enough to handle even a small fan vid. I have to remind myself that space and bandwith wise fic and vids on those sites were like apples to oranges.

But point being? One. Burner. In the fandom.

Ywouch! Now that's a scary story. Am I correct in assuming that the Forever Net zines that were created were for those fans who didn't have Internet access and therefore access to the exemplary fic that was out there?


I suspect that there are three main reasons that few old vidders have posted their old FK vids:

1. Brokenhearted by third season, they can't bear to look at them.
2. Aghast at the quality of their old work, now far superseded, they are embarrassed to expose their pre-digital efforts to scrutiny.
3. They just have no way to convert the old VHS tapes to digital.


Number 1 comes ups more times than I ever thought it would. I'm constantly coming across people on LJ who recall having a great fondness for the show but the turn of events in either the third season or the last episode really drove them away. Number 2 is very understandable. There are certain things in my mind that define a good video and those things that don't help its case. I'm much more lenient with FK because there isn't much out there. Any FK vid I find I'm happy to applaud the vidder for their time and effort. Perhaps if there was more out there I could afford to be more discriminating but I'd hate to discourage any vidder from trying their hand at FK. Thankfully #3 is becoming easier and more affordable to overcome as the years go by. I got my current desktop 2 years ago and it came complete with RCA hookups. All I had to do was hook them up via the right cable to a VCR, call up Windows Movie Maker and viola! instant VHS conversion.

Are you familiar with "Vividcon," the main annual fan-vidders convention? I'm not a vidder, but all the vidders I know love it to pieces.

I only have a passing familiarity with it but I'm hoping that one of these days I'll be able to participate.
4th-Jul-2008 10:51 pm (UTC) - Re: vidding when dinosaurs roamed the earth
>"Am I correct in assuming that the Forever Net zines that were created were for those fans who didn't have Internet access and therefore access to the exemplary fic that was out there?"

Yes, exactly.

>"Thankfully #3 is becoming easier and more affordable to overcome as the years go by. I got my current desktop 2 years ago and it came complete with RCA hookups. All I had to do was hook them up via the right cable to a VCR, call up Windows Movie Maker and viola! instant VHS conversion."

Hmmmm. I know nothing about this, and I'm not particularly tech-savvy, but I'm competent, and I have some FK stuff on VHS that I could perhaps share if I could only get it out and into a digital format. This is a conversation perhaps to take to private email...?
11th-Jul-2008 08:06 am (UTC) - Re: vidding when dinosaurs roamed the earth
Hmmmm. I know nothing about this, and I'm not particularly tech-savvy, but I'm competent, and I have some FK stuff on VHS that I could perhaps share if I could only get it out and into a digital format. This is a conversation perhaps to take to private email...?

I think we're on the same level tech knowledge-wise. I learned primarily through trial and error and though online tutorials. I'll need to refresh my memory by doing a test run with the appropriate set but I'll definitely drop you a line once I've done so. :)
27th-May-2008 05:47 am (UTC)
beautiful video! :)
1st-Jun-2008 11:13 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much for commenting. I'm glad you liked it.
16th-Feb-2009 12:10 am (UTC)
can you re-load it it's not @ sendspace or youtube anymore :(
16th-Feb-2009 05:02 pm (UTC)
Sure thing. Sorry about that. Youtube yanked the vid about a month ago. I'm dreading that they're going to do the same to my other vids.

I Will Follow You into the Dark

Enjoy! :-)
15th-Sep-2009 11:30 am (UTC)
Hi, I'd love to watch this video, unfortunately the sendspace link is expired and Youtube has pulled your video. Could you repost a download link?
19th-Sep-2009 04:39 am (UTC)
Sure thing!

I Will Follow You into the Dark

I've also added a streaming option on blip. The link is in the original post.
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